McMansions, Tiny Houses, and Why Do I Care About the Difference Between a Duplex and a Townhouse Anyway?
[Sound of deep sigh] It’s… I don’t even know what time it is. Jessica here. Again. Can’t sleep. Houses. So. Many. Houses.
Neighborhoods That Make No Sense
Okay, so Sunset Hills Kansas City. What… what even is that place? It’s like… you know when you eat too much cheese before bed and have weird dreams? Yeah, that, but as a neighborhood. And then there’s… [paper rustling] oh yeah, Whispering Hills Lenexa. More like “Yelling Identity Crisis Hills.” It’s like every house there was designed by a committee that couldn’t agree on anything. Modern? Sure. Victorian? Why not. Spaceship? Throw it in!
Housing Types That Make Me Want to Change Careers
People keep asking about town home vs duplex. Why? WHY? They’re… they’re different. I think. One’s like… up and down, the other’s like… side to side? Or is that the hokey pokey? I don’t even know anymore. [Sound of can opening] Is this water or vodka? Eh, bottoms up.
Investors Will Be the Death of Me
Oh god, the investors. Always with the pros and cons of having a real estate license as an investor. Pro: You might save money. Con: You’ll end up like me, talking to yourself at 3 AM about houses. Is that a pro or a con? I’ve lost all perspective.
I Think I’m Losing It
What was I… oh, right. Houses. They’re everywhere. All shapes. All sizes. I saw one today that looked like a Picasso painting threw up on a Monopoly house. And people live in these! On purpose! Is it normal to have nightmares about floor plans? Asking for a friend. The friend is me. I’m the friend. I need food. Or sleep. Or a new career. Maybe I’ll become a… what’s a job where you don’t have to think about houses? Professional cloud watcher? Is that a thing? If you need me, I’ll be… actually, no. Don’t need me. I’m not here. I’m on Mars. With no houses. Just red dirt. Red dirt doesn’t count as brick, right? RIGHT? I’m going to bed. Or to stare at the ceiling and contemplate the existential dread of a world with too many housing options. Same thing at this point. [Muffled thud, possibly head hitting desk]
